Articles
Here are the recent articles I wrote for BRAINZ.
01
Time For A Pronoun Paradigm Shift?
During a recent large online meeting, I felt different. Like I didn’t get the memo saying: “Post pronouns beside your name.” If all those talented Harvard alumni women posted their pronouns, I should too, right? Me2.
02
Top Ways Leaders Manage Conflict And Reduce the Cortisol-Related Stress Response
Nested within a wide circle of family, colleagues, and community systems, we humans find health, happiness, and meaningful purpose. And sometimes, friction.
03
It's All In Your Head – Cultivating Conscious Conversations
When you inaccurately imagine something, “It’s all in your head.” It’s also what the car mechanic thinks when you complain about that clicking sound that mysteriously disappears during the inspection.
04
What’s Worse? Scary Movie 3 Or “We Have To Talk”?
Does “We Have to Talk” trigger an inner primal scream? Perhaps you’ve heard these ominous 4-words from...
- The Boss: “I have some feedback”
- A Partner: “It’s me, not you”
- Garage Mechanic: “It’s the transmission”
- Child's teacher: “About their behavior”
05
Do You Have A Clearing Disorder?
Have you ever complained about busy work distracting you from strategic, high-impact projects and planning? You’re not alone!
06
Silence Your Perfectionista
Did you get all that? If English is your native language, most likely you understood it, errors and all. Spelling mistakes did not materially impact the outcome.
The breakthroughs in the debrief
Yesterday I had an out-of-body experience.
Am I turning into a Zombie?
During a debrief conversation, I was transported in time, 15 years prior, when I was teaching leadership workshops.
The specific scene was a "conscious conversations" exercise using empathy, authenticity and mutuality.
After developing hundreds of leaders, I saw a déjà vu pattern.
Whenever we debriefed the authentic communications exercise, I'd hear comments like this:
"I wasn't sure what they wanted.
"He told me what to do without asking."
"Why was she was asking me, I thought that was her job."
Did you catch that?
Their authenticity surfaced during the debrief, not in the conversation.
Yet the power is in the present moment, not the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" debrief afterwards.
"What prevented you from saying that during the conversation?" I'd ask.
Some confessed they weren't conscious of their thought bubbles until they stopped to reflect.
Others feared the reaction their comment might evoke, to which I asked "And why didn't you tell them that too?"
Their breakthroughs emerged when they realized inconsistencies between how they wanted to show up (authentically) and how they did show up (withholding).
Speaking of debriefs, how conscious were your conversations this week?
Did you have the meeting in the meeting? Or after the meeting?
Did you share your thought bubbles real time, during the conversation? (Authenticity) Did you "get curious, not furious"? (Empathy). And, to what degree did you regard the other as a valued, whole person, who like you and me, has strengths and challenges? (Mutuality)
I love breakthroughs and helping people seeing what was previously invisible. If you're ready for one (or some) in you life and work, get in touch.
